Family Violence Mentor Shares Perspective of DAWN's Impact
NewsRajie has been a DAWN Mentor since 2021. At Doncare’s 55th Annual General Meeting she shared her experience with the program and an informed perspective of its impact.
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Perhaps the best way for me to highlight the importance of this program is to hear from our clients. While they are not able to join us today, a few of them were brave enough to give us their statements about their experience with DAWN.
Being in a relationship that is toxic is socially isolating but the wreckage that follows when you leave is far worse. My mentor has changed me and my kid’s life in more ways than she will ever know. I honestly can’t remember our initial meeting. What I do remember are her actions, and they always demonstrate to me that she cares about us no matter what. In my professional life, we always teach about the importance of being compassionate and non-judgmental in our actions. My mentor is always this to me.
Being connected with my mentor through the DAWN program for me has felt like arms wrapped around me through those deeply challenging times which can lead one to feel happiness. My mentor is an incredibly generous, intelligent, kind and patient person who I am so grateful for. There are so many women who need consistent care, support, dedication and commitment to recover and move forward.
These are only two examples, but the resounding feedback from many of DAWN’s clients is how important it is for them to have someone impartial to rely on who can help them navigate their new life so that they can rebuild their confidence and self-esteem. Many of them are either amid or newly free of fighting their battles within the justice system and don’t have many people to turn to for support.
My first client, whose first language was not English, was so confused by official reports that she couldn’t understand but didn’t have the resources or confidence to seek help with. She was trying to build a life in Manningham away from her perpetrator with whom she had shared custody of her children, while starting out at a new IT-based job and meeting new people.
She had so much trouble relating to the others in her team as they were all much younger than her. She also struggled to find things to talk to them about, having no stories of her own that she found “interesting” (or safe) enough to share with new people while protecting her peace.
At the same time, she longed to have people that she could share a hobby with, or to be brave enough to try new things amidst the chaos in her life. We made that our goal, and tried new activities every week, going for free tai chi and yoga classes offered by the council, attending a couple of library events and picking new local places to go for a coffee or meal.
Slowly, she figured out that she loved being outdoors and found a trekking group that she was comfortable with attending. Through this process, she realised that she had something to offer and there are places out there she can find connection and belonging. Without our longer-term relationship, it would have been quite challenging to identify and rectify her issues.
My most recent client started with me while waiting for her intervention order (IVO) hearing to be resolved. She was in such a heightened state about the outcome that she didn’t want to stray too far from her home as she feared that her perpetrator torment her, especially since lifting the IVO would result in his firearms being reinstated. It got so bad she didn’t feel safe enough leave her home at all.
All she wants is to get her confidence back and live her life without fear. It’s a long road ahead as loud noises scare her so much because her perpetrator terrorises her by riding his motorbike along her street just to assert his dominance. This makes her relive her trauma every time it happens, which, in turn, impacts her decision-making day-to-day.
Every week, we try to venture just a little bit further from her home with the hope that she can expand her comfort zone and try new things.
In my opinion, this is where the DAWN program really shines by partnering us with our client for months rather than weeks.
I can journey with her at her pace, patiently taking all the time we need to allow her to rebuild her confidence, drop her guard and share her load with me. By consistently being there for these vulnerable moments, my small contribution as a mentor becomes a significant step towards finding a place for her to thrive as her best self.
I wouldn’t be able to do what I do without the continued help and assistance of the team at Doncare.
Unlike many of the other mentors, I come from a corporate professional background with no direct experience with family violence. The initial training and guidance I received were unique and novel to me and I learnt a lot about what survivors go through before and after their experience. I was struck by how these women are periodically subjected to multi-layered attacks of self AFTER they found the courage to leave their difficult situations. I also realised that the most dangerous time of their life began upon leaving, which often coincides with when support for them stops. As someone who finds myself over-empathising even with some advertisements, I needed to understand how to protect myself and my own mental health from being too adversely affected by all of that.
The DAWN Mentor Team
I find the monthly DAWN mentor meetings to be a boon that not only continually improves my knowledge but also connects me with others who have the same experience. Casually talking to other mentors helps me to build both my arsenal of solutions for my client, but also my grit so I feel equip to deal with potentially harmful situations.
Having the DAWN coordinators available every day of the week assures me that I can easily find help for my client at any point. Knowing that I can provide my clients a more informed level of care validates my feelings about the program and its reach.
Rajie’s presentation has been published with her permission.